Category: Practical Christianity

unLimited – embracing the gift of limits

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Have you felt stretched too thin lately? Worn out or burnt out? You are not alone. Our culture fights against limits and pushes against the boundaries that frame our lives. We don’t want to miss out. “More is better”, we believe, so we try harder to experience more to get more. Yet, there is always more. This leaves us unsatisfied, angry and exhausted.

Our marketing memes show our belief that “more is better.” Just add the word “unlimited,” and customers will buy whatever you sell. Because we believe the good life is found beyond our boundaries, we always strive for more. We war against the boundaries of our lives but end up fatigued, frustrated, fearful, and flat—in a word, lifeless. How is it that “more” leaves me feeling “empty”?

In a world where limitless is life, we fantasise about superheroes. Yet we are creatures, not gods. We are limited beings, blessed to thrive within our boundaries. Pete Scazzero lists some limits that we all can relate to. My life on this earth is a blessing, but it is brief; I can’t escape death. My mind has its limits, regardless of my learning. My personality or temperament has its strengths and weaknesses in every situation. My gifts are great, but it has their limits. My family or origin gifts me within a particular cultural, financial and social context; this is a blessing, but it holds its limits. Whether I am rich or poor, black or white, male or female – each attribute empowers and impedes me in life. Likewise, my own past (actions and experiences) holds great treasures, but with its limiting consequences. Each season of life has its gifts and limitations; we can’t change that – only embrace the season with its invitation and limitation.

The Apostle Paul also wrestled with his human limitations. In 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, he recounts a life-altering meeting with Jesus that changed his perspective on limits. “…I have received such wonderful revelations from God. So, to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud. 8 Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. 9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Paul’s reference to “a thorn in the flesh” is often misunderstood as a slight pinch in the foot. But, Pete Scazzero explains that the original language referred to a pike-like military defensive barrier (see image below). Today, Paul might have used “a sharp palisade fences or barb-wire in my flesh.” Pressing against this barrier caused him anguishing pain and left him feeling frustrated (angry and powerless).

Many have speculated about this “thorn in the flesh” in Paul’s letter. Some read Paul’s “thorn in the flesh” as a painful or shameful bodily obstacle that inhibited his life or mission. It might have been a speech impediment, like Peter’s lisp (Matthew 26:72-73) or Moses’ stuttor (Exodus 4:10). Others think Paul lived with a painful and debilitating eye infection (see Galatians 4:13-15, 6:11). Some sceptics believed Paul suffered from episodes of epilepsy (because of his disabling visions, as in Acts 9:3-9 and 2 Corinthians 12:7. Yet, others argue that Paul used the phrase “thorn in flesh” metaphorically to refer to emotional pain caused by his loneliness or the ongoing opposition by the Judaizers who constantly discredited his message and character. A last group believed that Paul’s torment was only spiritual, caused by some demonic “messenger from Satan”.

Whatever it was, we know that this “thorn in the flesh” was painful and limiting. Paul suffered from it and could not fix the problem himself. His prayers were not answered either – the Lord did not relieve him of this burden either.

Our culture does not readily accept the limits of “no.” Our culture believes you can do anything and everything if you put your mind to it. Not accepting limits or “no” leaves us exhausted, angry, and inhibited. What can we learn from Paul’s message?

Flourishing within limits

The Bible includes examples of people who served God with tremendous freedom despite their limitations. These limits did not hamper the ministry or legacy of these faith heroes; instead, these faith heroes flourished within these limits, often because of these limits. Jesus taught that “blessed are the meek, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” Meekness means submission to restraints as a horse submits to the saddle and bridle of a rider. We are blessed (better off) when we learn to rest within our constraints and trust that God can and will give us goodness here where we find ourselves.

Moses’ life-long speech impediment did not prevent him from fulfilling his call. It seems ironic that, despite all the miracles performed through Moses, the Almighty did not heal him of his stutter. God chose to appoint a man with a speech impediment as his spokesman. In his weakness, God’s power was made known.

David was small, the youngest and most neglected member of his family. Yet God chose this insignificant shepherd boy to deliver his people from the Philistine giant and unite them in one glorious kingdom.

Daniel and his friends were enslaved, yet his God’s sovereignty was made known through these young Hebrews as they faithfully served their captors in the palace.

John the Apostle was a political prisoner on the Island of Patmos, far removed from the oppressed churches under his care. Yet here, God revealed powerful visions with messages of hope that have served the church for millennia.

Likewise, Paul’s most potent and lasting ministry was from within a Roman prison, as he learned to rely on God’s grace. He discovered that these impediments taught him not to become proud (happy, independent, or self-reliant) but rather to rely on God’s grace. “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” 

Jesus Christ is God in the flesh, living as a poor Jewish boy raised in an insignificant rural village while the mighty Roman Empire ruled his people. This God suffered hunger, ridicule, shame, betrayal, torture and violent death. Through this, God restored his kingdom and delivered all who trusted in him from death.

My limitations as gifts

Paul discovered that the “thorn in his flesh” did not diminish his life; his life and legacy expanded as he embraced his limitations.

  • Paul’s limitation taught him humility – a life that relies on God’s grace, not his own strength and wisdom.
  • Resting in his limitation gives him a revelation of God’s nearness and grace.
  • His limits were the means to intimacy, the reason to draw near to God and trust him more.
  • Paul’s limiting imprisonment was the door to his most significant legacy — the letters that became the blueprint for every Christian church in history.

Paul’s message to the Corinthians invites me to see my limitations as gifts from God to keep me humble and dependent on Christ. It reminds me that these impediments drive me to draw daily strength from Christ. These limitations are the windows that witness the power of Christ in a world filled with weakness. Paul invites me to see my impediments not as limitations to my life, but as a door to my most significant legacy.

We are limited beings invited to live flourishing lives under the care of our compassionate creator. We will do well to learn the secret of being content in every situation (Phil. 4:11-13). Then, our weakness will become our strength.

Seeing Him who sees me

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This simple practice changed my prayer life. It transformed my quiet time from duty to delight, enlightenment to encounter. So simple, yet so profound.

Noticing the God Who Sees Me

Hagar had this experience when she fled from Sarai for the first time (Genesis 16:1-14). She was a young Egyptian slave, far from the land and her people. As Sarai’s property, she became the incubator for Abram’s descendants when her mistress could not conceive. She was given to Abram until she was pregnant. Her life was not her own, her body was not her own, and now even the baby in her womb was not her own. She was a nobody; Abram and Saria never called her by her name – she was just a nameless “servant” and not regarded as someone with feelings, thoughts, dreams and desires. This injustice made Hagar furious.

Her contempt towards her mistress resulted in harsh treatment. Hopeless, Hagar ran away into the desert – a decision akin to suicide. Exhausted, she found a well and sat down. Hagar was angry and alone, hungry and without hope. Then she encountered the Lord, “the God who sees me” (16:13). For the first time, she noticed Him, who has been watching her all along. She was unaware of the God whose loving gaze was on her all this time. 

Hagar was shocked to discover that the Lord was intimately aware of her. He knew her name, her situation, her pain and anger, and her deepest desires. Beside that well, Hagar met a personal God who was present and attentive to her. This meeting changed everything for her. She was no longer alone and left to fend for herself in a hostile world. She was beloved and known. Hagar named him “El Roi – the God who sees me.”

Spiritual Autism

Robert R. Marsh writes that small children cannot imagine other people having independent minds. Likewise, people with severe autism do not treat other persons as though they see, think or feel differently than themselves. This is often referred to as mind-blindness – to live ignorant of the thoughts, feelings and desires of others. Marsh observes that this is how people habitually approach God – more as an object than a person with unique thoughts, feelings and desires. As such, we speak about God or to God rather than converse with him. We acknowledge his presence but don’t consider his opinions or feelings. Marsh concludes that “Spiritual autism is a pathology of our times.” 

How often does this describe personal or public meetings with God? We may enter a worship service or prayer meeting and go about our discipline, not once stopping to notice the Lord’s demeanour. The result is a dull duty without any dazzle or delight.

How is God looking at me right now?

The Spanish priest Ignatius of Loyola knew the danger of discipline without intimacy. At the back of his spiritual exercises, he suggested this simple practice that ensures his prayer time remains a personal encounter rather than a principled exercise: “A step or two before the place where I stand or kneel to pray, I pause for the length of an Our Father (45 seconds?)… considering how God our Lord is looking at me”..” (Ignatius, Spiritual Exercises, 3rd Addition)

This practice transformed my prayer life and deepened my relationship with God. Every time I start my prayer time with this simple habit, it becomes a delightful encounter with God himself. As I become aware of the Lord’s presence and posture, my prayer becomes a conversation, not a petition that I raise to some distant domain. This turns my prayer time from cold and transactional to intimate and transformational.

When alone, I set the agenda and steer the activity; there is no place for surprise. Yet every time I start my prayer time with the awareness of how God is looking at me, my prayer time begins with surprise.

Naming our Well

Hagar met “the God who sees me”.   Moreover, Hagar was wise to memorialise this life-changing encounter by (re)naming the well Beer-lahai-roi (which means “well of the Living One who sees me” (16:14). Memorialising this meeting with God served as a reminder that there was a time and place where I encountered God; this is what he is like and what he said to me. The memory encouraged Hagar (and still inspires us four thousand years later) that God is immanent and intimate.

Take God’s presence seriously

I’ve learned from Hagar to take God’s presence seriously and expect encounters with the Living Lord. Moreover, I record these encounters in a journal as reminders that God is near. I start my prayer times by paying attention to God, who is present, and noting how he is towards me. (This is often more of a sense than an open vision). Then, I start by telling God what I notice and how that makes me feel.

One evening, I was deeply upset by a conversation I had during the day. As Ignatius taught me, I retreated into an empty room to meet with God and paused to discern God’s presence and posture. Immediately, I saw a big desert elephant, strong and peaceful, looking into my soul with his big, reassuring eyes. I had a Hagar moment: I perceived that the Lord was here, strong, and in control, and he knew about my frustrations and concerns. In that moment, His peace became my peace. My time of prayer did not require many words that evening.

Another profound encounter happened early one morning on a beach. Until then, I often felt a sense of “performance pressure” when I met with God—the feeling that I had to make this encounter happen. (Can you relate?)  Yet, as I paused to notice how God was looking at me, I suddenly found myself at a table with God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Their fellowship was so vibrant and joyful! I was welcomed into their warm fellowship. At once, the pressure to make something happen or to perform before God was gone. I experienced the joyful fellowship of the Triune God. I saw what Daniel Migliore meant when he wrote, “God is eternally self-giving, other-regarding, community-forming love.”

That day, I experienced what Rublev painted in his famous picture of God’s visit to Abraham (Genesis 18): the Triune God sits at a square table and welcomes us to join his fellowship. There is a joyful fellowship I don’t have to initiate – but I am always welcome to join. I am simply invited to see and join Him, who has been watching me all along.

“I blew it. Again!”

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We all know the feelings of guilt and shame.  We all know that voice hurling accusations at us in our moment of weakness.   “You blew it again!”  “Can’t you keep it together?” “When will you get it right?”  “Disappointment!” “Disgrace!”  “Disqualified!”

How can you pray with these feelings? How can you come before God with this voice in your head? What would it take to silence the Accuser?

I find tremendous freedom in a vision shown to the prophet Zechariah.  It was when the first exiles returned from Persia to rebuild Jerusalem (520 BC).  Along with Haggai, Zechariah was exhorting the people to rebuild the temple to allow the Jews to worship God again. 

The vision of the court (Zachariah 3)

In this vision, Zechariah saw Joshua, the high priest standing before the Lord, with Satan accusing him.  The accusation?  Joshua was standing before the Lord with his ceremonial clothes covered in filth.  What’s the big deal? The high priest was the one man in Israel who had the privilege and responsibility of atoning for the sins of Israel once a year, reconciling the people to God. 

Only on the day of Yom Kippur (see Leviticus 16), the high priest could enter the most holy place to offer sacrifices to YHWH.  The custom was that the high priest would fast and pray the 24 hours leading up to Yom Kippur, confessing all his sins and cleansing himself in the presence of God, with groups of priests supporting him in prayer throughout the day. The next morning, he would wash himself, get dressed and enter the most holy place to offer a bull to atone for his personal sins.  He would walk out all bloodied, wash himself and get dressed in his next clothes. Then he would return to offer a ram to atone for the priesthood.  He would wash and get dressed again to atone for the sins of Israel by offering a goat.  Whenever he would enter the most holy place, he would have bells on his clothes and a rope around his ankle so that if he had unconfessed sins and died in the presence of God, the people could drag him out.  God is holy.

Here we have Joshua standing before the Lord covered in filth, guilty and shamed.  Joshua was the high priest that year – the one man who should keep it together so that Israel would have an example of godliness and a mediator before God.  And Satan did well to remind Joshua of that.  The accuser screams, “He is unfit!”  “He is unholy!”  “He is sinful!” “Disappointment!” “Disgrace!”  “Disqualified!” “Throw him in the fire!”

Not disgraced, disappointed or disqualified

SHAMED

To Joshua’s surprise, the Lord did not strike him dead.  The Lord did not seem surprised that Joshua was covered in filth.  He did not rebuke or strike Joshua.  Instead, the Lord rebuked the accuser, reminding him of three things:

  • Joshua was a man that was destined to the fire (condemnation), but the Lord had pity on him and saved him from the fire.
  • The Lord had chosen Joshua and his people Israel for himself – he has favour on Joshua and his people.
  • The Lord has chosen Jerusalem as his dwelling place and has therefore instituted the priestly order with Joshua, to mediate between him and his chosen people.

In short, the Lord has compassion for Joshua, has chosen Joshua, and set him apart as the high priest.  Joshua has not earned this prized position through his holy living – it is all grace.

Therefore, the Lord orders that Joshua’s filthy clothes be removed and that he be clothed in new high priestly clothes.  The Lord Himself has removed the sins from Joshua.

Then the Lord assures Joshua that his failure has not disqualified him from his priestly privileges.  Surprisingly, the Lord assures the man that if he continues to seek and serve God in his role, he will continually have access to his presence.  Moreover, Joshua will see the restoration of Israel and the coming of the Messianic reign. He has the privilege to play a part in this fulfilment!

A friend in need

One of the most beautiful moments in this scene is Zachariah’s response.  When he sees how graciously the Lord responds to his shamed friend, Zachariah gets excited and cries out, “Give him a clean headdress!”  Seeing his friend’s failure, the prophet did not join in the slandering of the accuser.  Nor did he stand by passively to see what happens next.  Rather, Zacheriah joined in the Lord’s effort to restore and encourage the fallen priest. “Give that priest new clothes to work with!”

A Mirror to my reality

I am a husband, a father, and a pastor of a congregation.  I am a leader, an example to others of how to walk in godliness.  Yet I fail. Often. I can deeply identify with Joshua’s sense of shame in the presence of God.  I know what it feels like to stand before God with dirty garments.  I have heard the words of the accuser ringing in my ears “You blew it, again!” “Can’t you keep it together, man?” “Failure!” “Hypocrite!” “Disgrace! “Disappointment!” “Disqualified!”

Accusation and shame are familiar companions to all the children of Adam and Eve who ate of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Their aim in life is to persuade you and me that we are a disgrace and disappointment to God, and that God has disqualified us to come before him. The accuser wants you to stay away from God and to give up on your purpose.

But Satan is a liar.

A Window into God’s Kingdom

Therefore I find so much comfort in how the Lord responds to Satan’s accusation of Joshua, God’s priest.  God tells Satan to keep quiet, to keep out of his business, to leave the priest alone.  Why? Because Joshua is God’s chosen priest, appointed by God to serve God by atoning for God’s people.

The whole chapter is framed in covenant language.  YHWH (the LORD, Israel’s covenant God) has chosen and redeemed Israel for himself to participate in His redemption and renewal of all creation.  God knows that all people are flawed – he remembers that he made them from dust. That is why God has instituted the priesthood, and why he chose Joshua to serve him as high priest: to atone for Israel’s sins and make peace between God and his people. 

Yet God knows that even the high priest is only a man.  He speaks of another High Priest called The Branch or The Stone (the foundation of his true temple), who will atone for Joshua’s sins.  Now Joshua can experience mercy and get cleansed by God.

A Door to God’s Kingdom

How should I respond?  How can I participate in this heavenly court scene?  There are two people here, and I am invited to play the roles of either Joshua or Zachariah in this vision.

When I hear the accuser condemning me, I see myself in the place of Joshua.  The accused priest does nothing except to:

  • hear the Lord’s rebuke of Satan
  • hear the Lord’s forgiveness
  • receive the new clean clothes,
  • and hear that he is not disqualified – he must continue confidently in his ministry!

This scene does not lure me to passivity.  Whenever I hear the accuser, I am invited to see myself in this scene before the Lord and wait until he rid me of the accusations, to declare me clean and acceptable in his sight. I wait on the Lord as David did in Psalms 62 and 130.

Secondly, I am invited to imitate Zachariah in this scene.  When I see a friend bent over under the burden of guilt and shame, I am invited to participate in the gracious Lord’s restoration.  I am urged to mirror the mercy of God: to announce a clean slate and encourage my friend to continue serving God with confidence in this fallen world.

When you stand in the presence of the Lord today, who do you feel like?  

Are you Joshua, burdened by shame and whipped by Satan’s accusations? Are you yearning for the Lord’s deliverance and loving restoration? “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne room of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”  Hebrews 4:16  
Or will you imitate Zachariah the prophet, seeking out that friend to encourage with the mercy of God?“A bruised reed he will not break, and a faintly burning wick he will not quench.” Isaiah 42:3

How to resolve conflict and restore relationships

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How do I resolve conflict?  How can I restore a strained or broken relationship?

Our world is filled with conflict.  The pages of history are littered with stories of conquest, wars, and familial strife.  Military battles, political clashes, workplace competition, and marital strife are familiar stories that make up our news reports. 

Yet we all dislike strife, and most of us would rather avoid conflict.  We don’t know how to settle disagreements, and even our sincere efforts often escalate the situation.  I find it ironic that conflict resolution is not one of all the things we get taught in school.  When it comes to peace-making skills, our generation is anaemic.  No wonder our world is more divided than ever.

It always seems easier to walk away from a conflict than to settle a disagreement.  However, it is always more rewarding to resolve a dispute than to dissolve a relationship.

Jesus said that the good life, the blessed life, is reserved for those who make peace.  [i]We know that unresolved conflict erodes our joy and eradicates a sense of well-wellbeing.  It even hinders our fellowship with God.

The Bible instructs us to pursue peace with all,[ii] even with our enemies[1] and our accusers,[1] and actively serve our communities by reconciling people with one another and with God.[iii]

Making peace has always been difficult.  It is sobering to read the bulk of the New Testament letters as efforts to resolve conflicts within new church communities.  In this light, I find James’s appeal to the church in Jerusalem refreshingly simple: “Peacemakers sow seeds of peace to reap a harvest of goodness/ righteousness.”[iv]    The Message translation reads this way:

If you want a good life, a peace-filled life, you must do the hard work of cultivating your own robust, peaceful community. 

Before we discover how to make peace, we must agree that making peace starts by facing conflict.  Peace-making is the opposite of avoiding conflict.  Likewise, peace-making is the opposite of appeasing others, of keeping people happy.  Conflict is necessary to cultivate a community characterised by mutual safety and freedom.

It is normal to have conflict.  When two or more imperfect people share a space, they are bound to bump into one another and cause friction.  Conflict is an opportunity for self-awareness, other-awareness and growth, leading to mature love. 

So, how do we resolve conflict and mend a broken relationship?


1: I own my part

Peace-making starts with taking ownership for the health of the relationship, by considering my part in the breakdown and the restoration of the relationship. 

If you want to live in peace, you have to prioritise reconciliation – even over worship!  “Leave your gift at the altar, go and be reconciled to that person.  Then come and offer your sacrifice to God,” Jesus said.[v]   Whatever the reason for the breakdown, I must take responsibility in resolving the conflict to restore the relationship.  Sometimes reconciliation requires help from mature friends or professionals.[vi]

Time by itself will heal nothing.  Like a festering wound in my leg won’t heal by itself, a wounded relationship does not mend by itself.  Unattended hurt matures into bitterness and resentment.  Paul urges, “do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.” [vii]

Furthermore, a relationship can be restored as I acknowledge my contribution to the breakdown.  Jesus, in classic exaggerating humour, said that to resolve a conflict, first recognise the “pole in your eye” before you point out the blind spot in the other’s perspective.[viii] Before you point out the wrongs of another, recognise your imperfections.

Rick Warren states that the cause of all conflict is rooted in self-centeredness (“selfish desires”[ix]) and self-exaltation (“Pride leads to arguments.”[x]).  He says that every heated argument can be calmed by this simple phrase “I’m sorry – I was only thinking about myself!”  Acknowledging my part in relational break brings grace for healing.[xi]

Reconciliation begins when I take the initiative to restore the relationship and own up to my part in the breakdown of the relationship.


2: I listen for perspective

People fight not so much about what happened or what was said, but rather about how they were made to feel.  We respond to our emotions.  Hurt people, hurt people.

Cultivating peace requires patient listening.  “Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.”[xii]   Not the type of listening to prove who is right or rebuttal the argument.  But listening to hear, to understand, to have compassion for the position of the other.  This attitude Paul appeals for – a kenosis – that is not concerned with my interest only, but the interest of the others.[xiii]  Kenotic listening forgets my interests and forgoes my preconceptions, deeply listening to the other and benefiting him or her.

Listening in this way helps us to understand and identify with the views and feelings of the other.  This type of listening gets us on the same page – the reconciliation threshold.  We listen our way into unity.

3: Confront the problem in love

Conflict does not damage relationships – what we fight and how we fight damages relationships.  First, don’t fight the person, fight the problem.  A couple with a budget issue should not fight one another about the budget but stand next to each other and find a resolution about their budget.  The goal is to sort out the budget, not the spouse.  Confront the problem, not the person.  

Second, how we fight can either bring us together or push us apart.  “Some people make cutting remarks, but the wise words bring healing.” [xiv] 

During the Cold War between the U.S.A. and the U.S.S.R., these superpowers were wise to agree that their conflict would never escalate to the use of nuclear or chemical weapons.  Although they were at war, they were sober enough to see that such Weapons of Mass Destruction (W.M.D.’s) would lead to Mutually Agreed Destruction (M.A.D.) for both nations.  The fallout would be too much.

Paul urged the believers to adopt the same wisdom: when you confront one another, do it so that it would lead to restoration of the relationship, not destruction.  Therefore, “put away [all W.M.D.’s]: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another…”[xv] , and “don’t use foul or abusive language.  Let everything you say be good and helpful so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.”[xvi]  

Words cannot be unsaid.  The power of life and death is in the tongue.[xvii]  So, especially in a fragile relationship, “speak the truth in love” [xviii], and “let our speech always be gracious.”[xix]  Fight to restore the friendship, not to end it.  

4: Aim for reconciliation, not resolve

Before we close, another helpful pointer in conflict resolution is not to aim for agreement on everything but on reconciliation.  The goal is to restore the relationship, not resolve every issue.  It is possible to walk hand in hand through everything without seeing eye to eye on everything.

Our generation is highly divided on so many issues.  Talking through some matters is as volatile as walking through a minefield.  But to habitually part paths with people who see differently will lead to isolation and sectarianism.  It is always more rewarding to resolve conflict than to dissolve a relationship.  The blessed life is enjoyed by those who do the hard work of making peace, who build robust communities by sowing seeds of peace.[xx]

[i]  Matthew 5:9 

[ii] Romans 12:18

[iii] 2 Corinthians 5:18-20

[iv] James 3:18

[v] Matthew 5:23-24

[vi] Matthew 18:15-18

[vii] Ephesians 4:26-27

[viii] Matthew 7:5

[ix] James 4:1

[x] Proverbs 13:10

[xi] Proverbs 3:34

[xii] James 1:19

[xiii] Philippians 2:4-5

[xiv] Proverbs 12:18

[xv] Colossians 3:8

[xvi] Ephesians 4:29

[xvii] Proverbs 18:21

[xviii] Ephesians 4:15

[xix] Colossians 4:6

[xx] Matthew 5:9; James 3:18

Ready for (another) Roller-Coaster Year?

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Oh, how we wished that the pandemic and all its problems would burn with our 2020 calendars. Alas, it followed us into 2021, promising another roller-coaster year. How do you buckle up and ready your heart?

Most of us enjoy a good roller-coaster.  The ride starts with a slow climb, followed by a sudden drop and quick turns at high speed. As you feel the wind in your hair and hear the passengers’ screams, your veins flood with adrenaline and dopamine, leaving your hands shaking and legs jittery.  One group shouts “Let’s go again!” while another cries “Never again!”

Roller coasters leaves you either ecstatic or terrified.

What causes these two groups of people to have vastly different experiences in the same roller coaster cart? It comes down to a sense of security: the ability to trust in the ride designer and the system’s integrity. The ones who trust in the integrity of the seat belt or harness don’t fear for their safety.  These passengers have peace on the track and enjoy the thrill of the ride.

The second or third round on a roller coaster is often even more enjoyable, precisely because you have come to know that you will not fall from the cart. With arms high in the air and eyes closed, you can smile wide and laugh loudly through the tight turns – once you trust the carriage and the rest in the seat belt.

2021 will be our 2nd ride in the Corona Coaster. We would have preferred a more docile track, but this is our ride for the year. How do you prepare yourself to push out the panic and enjoy the thrill that 2021 brings? Is there a harness we can strap ourselves into, to lend the sense of security we need for the months ahead?

A short phrase penned by a Jewish prophet gives us a plan. Isaiah warned the Jews that the Babylonians would lay siege and destroy Jerusalem, taking its people into exile. He promised a rough time ahead for them.  The Babylonians would rip them from everything gave them a sense of belonging and security. Yet the Lord comforted the Jews with this beautiful promise – a phrase that instils comfort, safety and hope in everyone who believes.

Isaiah 54:10

For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed,
but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you.

Isaiah 54:10

“For the mountains may depart, and the hills be removed”

The Lord warned the Judeans of catastrophic changes – both sudden and permanent. They would suffer loss. Mountains speak of safety, security and a sense of permanency. Hills bring a sense of familiarity, normality, and a sense of belonging. These significant changes create anxiety, and the sudden onset thereof brings a panic.

“my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed”

In contrast, the Lord assures them that His constant, loving nature and reliable character do not change. His steadfast love “never ceases” and is always “abounding.” (Lamentation 3:23; Psalm 145) 

In particular, God’s covenantal commitment towards Judah does not change either. It cannot be removed (Numbers 21:12) and is stronger than the bond that draws a mother to her nursing child (Isaiah 49:15).

While these sudden changes create a sense of vulnerability and insecurity, the Lord assures them that His character and commitment towards them for their welfare (shalom) will never change. He is good and promised to do them good, always. Yes, even these sudden changes will work out for their welfare. (compare Romans 8:28)

“says the Lord”

The One who makes this pledge of partnership is indeed trustworthy. He is the LORD, Yahweh – “I AM THAT I AM” – the eternally existing God who never changes (Exodus 3:14; Malachi 3:6).  He is all-powerful yet very personal (Isaiah 40:28-29; Psalm 113).

While everything around them changes, they the Lord invites them to rest in the truth that He does not change, nor his loving nature and covenant with them.  Indeed, Yahweh has shown his goodness and faithfulness to them for generations since He first bound Himself to Abraham by covenant. Israel’s covenant God is trustworthy because of his character and power.

“who has compassion on you.”

God Almighty knows that the coming catastrophic changes would bring pain and panic. Moreover, God cares about them!  Their situation moves Him with compassion so that He would show them kindness. (Compare with Christ Matthew 9:36; 14:14; Mark 1:41 etc.)  What comfort these words must have brought to the vulnerable and fearful Judeans who were plucked from their familiar homelands!

a MIRROR to our society

Isaiah depicts Judah’s calamitous change as “mountains disappearing and hills being removed.” Our generation can easily identify with his passionate poetry. For years we have experienced the stormy disruptions in our social fibre, and local economies and political harmony caused by the tsunamis of globalization, technological advancement and climate change. Now, on top of that, the Covid-19 pandemic is accelerating social changes, affecting economies and governments at an unparalleled pace.

These rapid changes make us feel unsafe, like foreigners in our own homeland. Like the Judeans hearing Isaiah’s words for the first time, we too need of hope, some assurance that good may come, a reason to march on and direction for the future.  

a WINDOW into God’s Heart

Isaiah’s prophesy reminds us that God knows that big changes leave us vulnerable and insecure. These words reveal God’s compassion for us; his heart is moved because he identifies with us in our suffering.

A reporter asked John and Charles Wesley’s ageing mother, which of her children she loved best.  She replied, “the one who needed it most at that time”. Her compassionate heart was moved with kindness to help the one who was struggling at that time. David says God’s paternal love is the same: “As a father shows compassion to his children… for he knows our frame… he remembers that we are dust.” (Psalm 103:13-14). God does not love us less because we struggle in our turmoil or temptation; instead, God’s fatherly love (compassion) is activated by our weakness, urging him to show us kindness. The Lord “is able to have compassion with our weaknesses… so let us boldly draw near to his throne room to receive grace [help]” (Hebrews 4:15).

Isaiah reminds us that God’s steadfast love (character) and covenant of peace (commitment for our good) is unchanging. Through all these changes, God is working out his redemptive purposes work for our good and his glory. This window into God’s heart and plans brings us much comfort.

a DOOR into God’s Kingdom

Isaiah’s prophesy acknowledged the first readers’ uncertainty and invited themto walk with God into their new world. Likewise, this prophesy shows the door into the stable and peaceful world our overwhelmed generation longs for.  The Lord assures us that He is unchanging and his covenant unshakeable. Drawing close to him brings the security and familiarity that is fading in our rapidly changing context.

How do we strap ourselves in to feel safe in the 2021 roller coaster ride?

To cognitively know that “the God of the Bible is loving and does not change” does not bring the deep, lasting peace we pursue.  Instead, recognising and reflecting on God’s loving-kindness and reliability in my own life (and those around me) brings the security and hope I need in this changing world. This text invites me to remember and reflect on God’s steadfast love that I have experienced and how he has faithfully intervened on my life in the past. In a rapidly changing world, I feel safe to the degree that I am rooted and grounded in God’s love and commitment to me (Ephesians 3:14-17).

My friend, strap yourself in for the thrill-ride of 2021. Throw those hands in the air and let out a shout. God is up to something great, and it will work out for your good!

Closing Chapters – Re-visioning your future (part 4 of 4)

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“I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, even as your soul prospers.”

3 John 1:2

This is God’s desire for you for 2021. Is this what you expect?

You want to start 2021 on a clean slate, with fresh excitement for the year.  This could be difficult, especially when the new year begins with the same challenges of the old year. In the previous posts, we said that we wrap up 2020 by making a memory and finding its meaning. We look back to review the year’s highs and lows, recognizing the blessings and progress. A fresh start requires a bold look inside to release those who hurt us and also own our share in the pain. After dealing with the past, we need to reconsider our destination and re-vision path.

[A brief video transcript of this post is available below].

Why a need to re-vision my future?

Bluntly stated, you are not the same person you were twelve months ago. Your experience has carved a profound and lasting impact on your life. We like to say experience makes us wiser, but it leaves you more than a data bank of case studies.  Your circumstance changes you.

  • Circumstance impacts your core convictions. My experiences continually test my core convictions to confirm or refine those bedrock assumptions I build my understanding of life upon. These core convictions make up my self-view (who I am, where I belong), my God-view (who He is and how he relates to me), and my world-view (how things work spiritually, socially, and physically). The convictions that hold up are strengthened, while the assumptions that fail are adjusted. These challenge my most profound sense of significance and security, and call for revising my beliefs about who I am, how I relate to God and how the world works.
  • Circumstance impacts your cravings. My desires are shaped by my experience and by the desires of those around us. As I live, I learn that those things I desired do not satisfy, and it loses its appeal.  Moreover, my desires are essentially mimetic, meaning “I desire according to the other” (Rene Girard). We see this in toddlers fighting over toys, in the fashion sense of teenagers and suburban families striving to keep up with the Jones’. The point is that my desires are not static – what I live through impacts not only my head but also my hearts. And as my heart sets the course of my life, it must be examined and recalibrated.
  • Circumstance impacts your calling. What I describe as my life calling, my purpose, or the vision for my future is not static either.  My sense of purpose grows and changes with my understanding of myself, God, and the world. It changes with my desires. And it is informed and inspired by my experiences.  Often my calling is birthed from the pain in my circumstances.
Your experience has a profound impact on your calling.

Therefore, before you embark on writing your new life chapter this year, reconsider where you are now and recalibrate where you want to be headed. Seek for a clear and compelling vision that directs your affections and actions.

God has a vision for your life

You have been created by God, for God (Ephesians 2:10; Colossians 1:15-16). God has purposed and prepared a path set with good works for you (Ephesians 2:10; compare Jeremiah 1:5) and although your understanding of it grows, God’s purpose for you life does not change (Romans 11:29). Moreover, you were redeemed by God at an incredible price; you belong to Him, and your life is for Him (1 Corinthians 6:19-20; 2 Corinthians 5:14-15). Christ’s act of redemption does not only save you from the punishment of your sins – he redeemed you from a destructive life of selfishness to a partnership with Him in the regeneration and renewal of all creation (Colossians 1:18-20; Revelation 21:5).

Your life has meaning, significance. You have been carefully crafted to fulfil a significant part of God’s redemptive purpose of the world, to display and disperse his goodness in this world. In and through you, God is renewing and reconciling all things to Himself, bringing it under His benevolent reign.

Can you picture the good works God prepared for you in this year?

Aristotle said, “a soul never thinks without a picture.” What do you envision for this new year? What is your mental image of “a blessed and prosperous 2021”?  This is the essence of hope: a picture that paints the good things to come. Fear is the opposite of hope: an image that depicts the expectation of bad things.  Our news feeds and conversations overflow with such pictures of doom, filling the world with fear to expect only depression and disaster in 2021.  How do I cultivate hope in such an environment?

The Bible abounds with historical accounts that mirror our own dark days’ sense of dread and despair. Yet time and time again, we see God’s prophets sketch visions of hope that inspire faith-filled acts of courage to bring life to communities in crisis. Renewal always starts with a clear and compelling picture of what could be, fueled by a conviction that it should be. This is the definition of God-breathed vision. Such an image will stir your imagination and engage your will to walk in the good works God has prepared for you.

The power of a clear vision (from Andy Stanley)

Often good ideas and even necessary things go undone due to a lack of a good, clear vision. Andy Stanley states the benefits of a clearly articulated vision (Visioneering, 1999).

  • Vision awakens our passions and unleashes our drive to pursue this promise. A picture of what could be, tugs at my heart and energizes me to make this dream a reality.
  • Vision provides motivation and endurance for the hard work necessary to embody this preferred future. It moves me from dreaming to doing.
  • Vision sets direction, prioritizes values and parameters for decision-making. A clear vision unclutters my life to discern what is important and immanent, and what is not.
  • Vision translates into purpose. A clear and compelling vision gives meaning to everyday life’s mundane tasks.  It gives context to the costly sacrifices required to live the life I want to live.
Purpose arrow

You’ve had dreams and desires which never materialezed. Yet vision is different from such wishes in that it feels like a moral imperative – I ought to pursue this! This type of vision for your begins with a concern – a deep stirring in your spirit that urges you to respond. It fills your mind, overflows in your conversations, and cries out in your prayers. Such a vision is an invitation to partner with God in His work of renewal of all things.

Crafting and pursuing your vision for 2021

In the troubling time leading up to Jerusalem’s fall in 586BC, the prophet Habakkuk set time aside to wait on God for a clear and compelling vision for his people. He resolved:

“I will stand at my watch and station myself on the ramparts; I will look to see what he will say to me, and what answer I am to give to this complaint.”

The Lord answered: “Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald may run with it.”

Habakkuk 2:1-2

A compelling vision begins with a concern, a problem that needs fixing. Vision goes beyond what could happen but describes what should happen – with the conviction that God invites you to act with Him.  These three practical points will help you crystalize such a mental picture of your future.

Vision starts with imagining what could be.
  1. Consider your vision for the year. Take time to dream about the year prayerfully. What does a prosperous 2021 look like for you? If God were to make all things new in your life this year, what would that look like? Briefly describe this transformed future for (a) your work life, (b) your family life, (c) your social life, (d) your spiritual life, (e) finances, and (f) any significant pursuit you have such as studies, sports, or some society. Don’t bother with HOW this will happen – describe WHAT your future should look like. Paint the picture with words.
  2. Clarify your vision. Prayerfully reduce these descriptions to a single, memorable statement of what you dream of embodying in each life facet this year. Can you write it as a solution to a problem?
  3. Chase your vision. Put these vision statements up somewhere you will see daily to pray daily for opportunities to realize this dream. Nehemiah, the cupbearer to Persian king Artaxerxes, prayed this way about his vision to see Jerusalem restored: “O Lord… give me success to your servant today, and grant him mercy in the sight of this man.” (Nehemiah 1:11) When the opportunity came, he saw it and confidently seized it as an answer from the Lord.

Heads up: God’s plans for you are “that you may prosper in all things and be in health, [and that] your soul prospers.” (3 John 1:2) After all, “God delights in the prosperity of His saints!” (Psalm 35:27). You can confidently dream about 2021, knowing that God has prepared good works for you.  Carve these dreams into vision statements that evoke your passion, motivate your actions and direct your efforts. Then hold these daily before God in prayer for boldness and opportunities to renew every area of your life.

Closing Chapters – Living free from the past (part 3 of 4)

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To confidently, hopefully walk into a new year we need to wrap up the previous year. In the previous two posts we considers why to Close a life chapter and how to Ground our past experience in the presence and providence of God, breeding security and grace for the years to come.

Most people who get stuck in some past life cycle find their hearts and minds dwell on unresolved disappointing or painful situations. In this post we will focus on finding freedom from negative experiences in the past year.

Release and Own (dealing with disappointments and pain)

After a challenging year, settling your heart requires us to reflect on the disappointing and painful moments.  Ignoring these negative emotions will not make them magically disappear.  These negative emotions are like panel lights on an alarm or dashboard, inviting us to resolve the situation: “What happened?  How did it make you feel?  Why?”

a. Own your share – stop the blame game!

Domenichino, The Rebuke of Adam and Eve, Italian, 1581 – 1641, 1626, oil on canvas, Patrons’ Permanent Fund

Our human nature tends to first look to others to assign guilt for our disappointment and pain.  We see it in Adam and Eve’s replies after the Lord called them out of hiding in fear in shame.

Genesis 3:11-13  “God said: Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?” The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

In most cases, we are partially responsible for our own disappointments and pain. Own it!

We struggle to admit and own our (small) contribution to our loss and suffering.  But NOT OWNING UP prevents us from growth, because denying mistakes presumes perfection. Denying my contribution to my pain makes me a victim in this situation, rendering me powerless in similar future events.  Such denial prevents growth and might lead to a devastating cycle of relational breakdown, workplace conflict, financial failure or whatever resulted from this crisis.  In contrast, ownership of my (small) contribution in this situation allows me to take responsibility and control for my own life, spurring growth through this pain.

David demonstrated beautiful humility and great confidence in God’s mercy after his grave sins.  He confessed and pleaded: “For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me.  Against you, you only, have I sinned… cleanse me… wash me… create in me a clean heart, renew my spirit… my joy!” (Psalm 51:3-4).  By taking responsibility for his own sins, David’s life chapter was closed, preparing a clean slate for his future with room for growth. Indeed, “God opposes the proud and gives grace to the humble.” (James 4:6)

b. Forgive the debt – Release it!

Forgiveness is the most critical action required to let go of the past and close a life chapter properly. The inability (or unwillingness) to forgive an offender is the number one reason why people are stuck in the past, poisoned in anger and bitterness which displaces all their peace and joy from life.  The natural response to being hurt, being wronged.  These strong emotions caused by insults and injustice do not simply fade away.  In the words of Amanda Palmer, you must “deal with your demons, or they will move into the cellar of your soul and lift weights.” 

Paul also articulated this urgency to deal with hurts and offences before they overtake you when addressing the culturally divided Ephesian church. “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”  Note how Paul does not condemn anger when you are hurt but instead gives a proper response to the justified emotions: urgently deal with the pain and passion in the presence of God, and follow Christ’s example to relinquish all rights to vengeance. 

Andy Stanley helps to clarify the sometimes fuzzy concept of forgiveness in practical terms.  Forgiveness means to clear the debt someone owes you (see Matthew 18:21-33).

Therefore, to properly close a life chapter and forgive someone who hurt you in this season, he prescribes the following:

  • State who wronged you.  For every painful experience, name the person(s) who hurt you or took something from you. This is often someone very close to you, or at times it might even be God or yourself you need to forgive.
  • What debt does he/she owe you?  Articulating what debt is owed is often the most challenging part in the process of forgiveness.  The anger and pain are caused by an (often subconscious) awareness of loss. But to be set someone free, you must be able to say from which debt you set them free.  What have you suffered or lost because of this offence?  Was it money, time (with someone), opportunities, innocence, confidence, or a type of life you could no longer have perhaps?

A question that might help with this is “What/who/where would I have been if he/she/they did not do this to me?”  Imagine this, see the life that was lost, and allow the mourning to flood your heart.  Describe the loss in words or images.

  • Declare him/her/them free of that debt. Forgiveness is a decision and declaration to clear the debt of an offender. In no way does forgiveness justify what was done; forgiveness means you forgo the right to claim back what was stolen (from someone who generally cannot replace what was taken). 

To be set free from anger and bitterness, one often has to verbalise who you forgive and for what you forgive him/her/them. It might help to make this declaration in the presence of a trusted friend as witness.  Rarely do you need to go to the offender(s) and say this to them.  The goal of forgiveness is to make you free from the grudge and hurt you carry, which is the root of your anger and bitterness.

Since forgiveness is an action following a decision to clear a debt owed, you don’t have to feel that you forgive them beforehand – you simply need to decide it and do it.  Emotions will follow your decision.  Even after you have declared the offender(s) free from the wrong he/she/they caused you, the emotions might occasionally flare up.  Then you simply remind yourself that you have cleared that debt in the way Christ has cleared your debt, and ask the Lord to fill your heart with peace and love.  This healing might take time, but the Spirit of Christ will fill our hearts with love and peace (Romans 5:5). 

Over the years I have seen that knowing about forgiveness and actually forgiving someone are two different things. Take the time today to review your year, own your own part in your pain, and forgive the other for how you have been wronged. You will taste the freedom soon!

Closing Chapters – Making memories (part 2 of 4)

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Just like a good story, your life has a beginning, and an ending with the middle chapters lived out in different seasons in settings. Each of these life chapters has a unique little storyline that shapes your character and destiny. In the previous post Closing Chapters – Wrapping Up 2020 I said that, especially after a rough season
one needs to conclude a life chapter, to pin it down so that the new chapter begins with a clean slate, not being held back by unresolved issues.

(I have spoken the need for Closing Chapters at Shofar Durbanville’s morning service on 29 November 2020. A recording can be found below; message starts at 44 minutes) 

We close a life chapter effectively by making memories and finding meaning in these memories. We begin our review of the year by looking at those events or trends that had a memorable impact on my life, shaping my identity, relationships or purpose. As we begin our review, we take not of each event’s effects on our emotions or relational dynamics, , self-view or confidence.

Review the 2020 (the highlights and lowlights)

To review of a longer season such as a year or few years at a particular company season may be difficult to initiate.  Where does one begin?  I find it helpful to plot a simple histogram with three or four layers to get my thoughts started.

An example histogram to get your reflection for 2020 started might look like this: three lines showing the highs and lows of your relational life, work life and spiritual life over the 12 months of the year. 

  • Line 1: As you reflect over the year’s events, indicate your general sense relational health (you might want to draw lines for each significant relationship).
  • Line 2: Do the same for your work life.
  • Line 3: Do the same for your spiritual life.
  • You may want to consider lines to indicate your confidence or anxiety levels, your finances, studies, sports or church life – whatever touched you deeply in the year.
  • Now mark a few key events in your life, trigger events or turning points, on this graph.

Some people find these graphs less helpful for reflection. Therefore I share three other ways in which I do reflection on a season, to get to those events and trends that will add to my life story going forward.

  • For each of the key relationships in your life, recall the highlights and lowlights in the year. Which of these events had a lasting impact on me/us, and how?
  • List the big external events (such as the pandemic, drought and civil unrest) or personal crisis (sickness, accident, burglary or separation) and recall how it impacted me.  What do I carry with me since then?
  • Compare every aspect of my life how I entered the year, and how I exit the year. Eg, I entered 2020 with R150’000 of debt and exit with R75’000 debt.  At the beginning of 2020  we were a family of 3 but at the end of 2020 we are a family of 4.  Consider making these comparisons on your personal life, work life, social life, spiritual life, finances etc. How did these changes occur, and how do these impact me?

From these reflections, reduce your Highs and Lows to those you deem most influential on your life in this past year. These are the memories that you will reflect on to find meaning in the year, affirming your identity and refining the purpose that sets your course in the years to come.

Closing chapters start with making memories – your highs and lows of 2020.

Recognize the good (preservation and growth)

Memories by themselves are good, but apart from our life in God, these events do not give meaning to our lives. Next we ground our memories of 2020 in the providence and presence of God.

In reviewing the good things that happened to me in 2020, it is helpful to start with the question: “What bad things did NOT happen to me this year?” In a year filled with devastation and disappointments, it is necessary to recognize and rejoice in God’s protection and preservation.  Record these in jour journal with a heading similar to Psalm 124: “If it had not been the Lord who was on our side…”

Then look at your life, comparing your situation at the beginning and the ending of your year.  Ask yourself (and those close to you): “What good things did happen to me?” Don’t rush this section.  Think of the growth in your life in all its totality: physically, materially (possessions), emotionally, relationally, spiritually.  Think of your work and influence.  I used two headings for my reflection, borrowing from 1 Samuel 7:12 “Thus far the Lord has helped us…” and from Psalm 103 “Bless the Lord oh my soul, and forget not all his benefits…” listing according to those aspects form David’s praise.

Especially in a trying year such as this, it is crucial to see and celebrate God’s faithfulness and generous grace, displaying his devotion towards us.  These contemplations ground us in the reality of his abiding presence and steadfast love – the sure footing for our next chapter.

Take these highlights into your prayer time and give thanks to the Lord for his generosity and faithfulness. Indeed, your life is grounded in the presence and providence of God – a sure footing for 2021.

In my next post we will deal with the lowlights, the disappointments and pains of 2020, to live free from regrets and vengeance in the years to come.

Closing Chapters: Wrapping up 2020 (part 1 of 4)

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2020 was a surprisingly rough year.  It still is.  How do you muster hope and confidence for a new year after one so tumultuous as this?

From discovering a new Coronavirus strain far away in Wuhan City, China, 12 months ago a global pandemic culminated in the simultaneous lockdown of more than 200 countries just six months later. The lockdowns confined people to their homes, shutting down schools, businesses and all social gatherings.  Governments banned all travel, calling for a state of disaster, restricting countries under martial law.  And now a second wave is in full swing.

The global pandemic pressure exposed the fault lines in vulnerable economies, politics, and social fibres worldwide.  Newsfeeds flooded with reports of large-scale corruption, election rigging, racial tension and wild conspiracy theories.    These compounding disruptions also highlighted the vulnerabilities in societies’ emotional-spiritual wellness, resulting in heightened anxieties, widespread domestic violence and unhealthy coping mechanisms.  No-one escaped the sting of this pandemic.

At several moments during this year, I hoped for someone to call an end to the year, to reset the calendar and start afresh.  I waited for some referee to recognize our fatigue, to throw in the towel or count us out.  At long last, the year is over, but now the entrance into 2021 looks very similar to the exit of 2020.  The difference is: (a) now we know what to expect, and (b) 2020 has had a significant physical, emotional and spiritual impact on each of us.  For that reason, many of us face the new year with a sense of dread.  

Why bother with the past ?

There is a need to properly wrap up the old year and bring meaning to a particular season before starting afresh.  Failure to conclude a life chapter can cause one to get stuck in a destructive cycle.  Trying to move on with unresolved disappointments, hurts, trauma or even blind spots and character flaws will likely cause one to live reactively to past events.  The past will repeat itself like a bad nightmare. There has to be some resolve, some closure before your story can continue in a new chapter.

Biblical books at the end of seasons

It is noteworthy to consider that all the history books in the Bible – from Genesis to Ester in the OT and the Gospels to Acts in the NT – were recorded at critical moments in God’s people’s history.  These records are not merely cold recordings of history.  Each history book is a prophetic reinterpretation of the events God’s people went through, written to help make sense of God’s redemptive purposes through these periods.  It aims to affirm the first readers’ identity and purpose as God’s covenant people.  As such, each of these books is a means to “close a chapter” in a particular people’s history, giving God’s people resolve to move on, helping them understand why they had to endure this.  

What is a life chapter?

Consider every memorable story, and you will conclude that hard times shaped the character and beautify his/her account. Samuel anointed David to be king, but many difficult chapters fill the years before becoming Israel’s beloved king. Yet his story is memorable because these middle chapters tell of familial rejection, battle with a giant, fleeing a vengeful monarch, harsh years in exile, uniting a divided Israel, and later attempted patricide and exile again, to name a few highlights.  God’s journey with him through valleys of shadows of death makes his story beautiful and inspirational.

God promised Joseph prominence and power, and the fulfilment thereof was beyond his wildest imagination.  His story brings encouragement 3800 years later because God’s promise prevailed despite familial betrayal, enslavement, wrongful imprisonment, and neglect of a companion. In particular, his story endures because he could look his brothers loving in the eyes and declare “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” (Genesis 50:20) That is why and how you close a life chapter: make sense of a season to affirm your identity and purpose in the light of God’s presence and providence.

A life chapter brings a conclusion to a season characterized in some unique way.  Some chapters close naturally, like when you progress from primary school to high school or graduate from college or end an internship.  Other life chapters might require help to resolve, due to an unfair dismissal from work, an abrupt end to a long relationship, or a sudden relocating with the family.  Especially after a season of hardship, we struggle to move on because these tend to impact us emotionally and spiritually – leaving lasting scars on our identity (affecting our self-view), relationships and confidence (impacting our purpose and potential).  Such seasons have the power to hold us back or alter the course of our lives – for the good or the bad.  As such, reflection and resolve is paramount. Closing life chapters means making memories and finding meaning in it. Our challenge is to do a personal, prophetic reinterpretation of our experience to discern God’s presence and work in, through and for us.  In particular, it affirms our identity, reforms our relationships and refines our purpose in life. 

How do we properly close life chapters?

We say that “experience makes us wiser.”  But observation tells us that this is not true.  Experience often leaves us poorer, tired, hurt, or lonely. If we’re lucky, experience leaves us happy, enriched or loved.  We tend to repeat past mistakes, suffering the same painful results – unless we intentionally reflect and learn from our experience.  A more accurate statement reads, “evaluated experience makes us wiser.” 

In her book Rooted in Love Margaret Blackie sketches her life as a plant rooted in rich soil. The plant symbolizes her life, flourishing. The roots seek security and nourishment in the fertile soil. The ground, enriched by the processed plant matter, represents reflected past experiences.  Together, this image powerfully portrays how our lives flourish when anchored and nourished by our awareness of God’s presence and purpose with our everyday lives.  Therefore, closing a life chapter aims to root us securely in the rich soil of the previous season, ready to bloom in the next season.

We close the chapter on 2020 by making a memory and find its meaning in the light of our life’s trajectory as a whole.  First, we look back to review the highs and lows of the year.  Second, we look up to recognize and give thanks for God’s goodness in the past season.  Third, we reflect on the losses, hurts and disappointments by look inward; we own our share in the pain and release those who caused us harm.  Lastly, we look forward as we revision the next leg our of our journey with hope.  We will work through each of these points in subsequent blog posts.

So what do you expect to take with you out of 2020? You might be surprised at the insights and hopeful energy gained from such a reflection.

Guarding the Gates

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Where can we find the virtuous, honorable man?

Proverbs 31 describes in detail the characteristics of a virtuous woman – a truly inspirational picture of a person who with wisdom, selflessness and skills pours out her life to benefit her family and community. The description begs the reader to ask “If she does all this, but what does her husband do?” The answer: “Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.” (Proverbs 31:23)

At first glance, it might seem that, while this woman works effortlessly to provide for her family, her husband is relaxing with his peers in the public square. This thin reading has lead many to despise the absent husband of the virtuous wife. However, a contextual reading of this text in the Middle-Eastern culture of its day sketches the opposite picture.

The Gates. City Gates were significant to preserve a peaceful and prosperous community. It was a barrier to the dangers on the outside as it completed the city walls, but it also formed the insiders into a closed community, allowing for common customs and regulations which typified its culture. Within the city gates one was safe.

These gates were the most vulnerable part of a city’s structural defense. As such, city gates were built as a strategic stronghold, often with watch towers, a moat with drawbridge and sharp spikes to fortify the city’s access point.

As one enters the city gate, one would generally walk onto the city square – an open plain used for town gatherings such as communal threshing floor, the village market, court room, and civic center for both administration and celebrations.

Whoever possessed the gates of the city had rule of the city.

That is where the man in Proverbs 31:23 sat. What did he do at the gate all day long?

The Elders at the Gates. Elders were chosen from among the people groups within the city as wise, honorable representatives to govern and administer the city. They were called out of the hustle of everyday life to be concerned with the wellness of their community. They ensured fair commercial practices, judged civil disputes, administration, ensured the cultural celebration and the safety of the city. Whoever sat in the city gates guarded the culture of the city.

In short, the Bible reveals that city elders were tasked to cultivate and preserve an atmosphere of justice, peace, and joy for all its inhabitants (by wise rule). What the Bible calls Shalom.

At the city gates, priests would address moral issues according to the Law, prophets would call for justice and the fear of God, and the decrees of the reigning king would be read. These teachings, prophesies and decrees were entrusted to the elders for implementation, for the good of the whole community.

In short, elders controlled access to and the atmosphere of the city.

“This is interesting, but what does this have to do with me?” you might ask. If you are a follower of Jesus, then everything!

When Paul addressed the church, for instance in 1 Corinthians, he names them “ekklesia (the Church) tou theo (of God) en korintho (in Corinth),” specifying that they are ones sanctified and called to this place by the Lord Jesus Christ. The word ekklesia in its context refers to the elders called out of the hustle of everyday life, summoned to meet the God, the Great King, about His rightful reign in this city.

The church are the chosen ones, called to sit as elders in the gates of the city, to ensure the reign of God in their community.

When we gather, we represent our community, bearing its current concerns, gain wisdom from the Rule of God, listen to His call justice, and how to bring about righteousness, peace and joy to our people. Male and female, young and old, educated or not – we are all ekklesia, called out ones summoned to serve the Kingdom of God in this city. We are called to be ambassadors of the Great King in the gates of our cities.

When we consider this call to guard the gates, we should also consider the blessing God promised to us as Abraham’s decedents through faith: “I will surely bless you, and I will surely multiply your offspring as the stars of heaven and as the sand that is on the seashore. And your offspring shall possess the gate of his enemies, and in your offspring shall all the nations of the earth be blessed, because you have obeyed my voice.” Genesis 22:17-18

When we rightly possess the gates, our communities enjoy God’s peace (blessing). But our modern cities generally don’t have gates. If we are called to sit and govern, where do we yield our influence?

The 7 Mountains Mandate. In 1975, in the heyday of the Jesus Movement that awakened a youth missions movement across the globe, Loren Cunningham (of YWAM) and Bill Bright (of Campus Crusade for Christ) met for lunch. Each received a revelation from the Lord they had to share with the other about what it takes to “disciple a nation” and “win a nation for Christ.” They were so shocked that their Revelations that day were exactly the same: to “disciple a nation” and “win a nation for Christ” involves more than individual conversions: one would have to transform the culture by “conquering seven cultural mountains” (Cunningham) or “possess seven gates of culture” (Bright). See the short embedded video of Loren Cunningham’s account below.

Loren Cunningham recounts the original Seven Mountain Mandate moment.

The seven gates of culture (or seven mountains), pertain to Media, Government, Education, Economy, Religion, Family and Celebration/Arts, with Science and Technology frequently added to the list. These spheres of influence into a community orient the dominant culture of the day either towards God’s Kingdom or another value system.

These revelations by Cunningham and Bright are in line with God’s Old Testament Template for society in the Law of Moses, as Landa Cope unpacks in her book. In these first five books of the Bible God gives the blueprint for a society – his Kingdom Law of shalom – prescribing the wholesome (“blessed”) life in each of these domains.

To subject a nation to God’s Kingdom and receive his blessing, the church are called to possess these gates in society to bring about justice, peace and joy.

If you are part of the church of God, called to represent and reinforce his good reign in your community – in which gate do you sit? How has He gifted you to bring his rich culture of peace to your city? What are the concerns that press on your heart? Be bold to step out and act for God’s sake – Christ promised the grace to conquer and the reward for your faith.